We all know that dating can be a hit and miss effort, but it’s important to make sure you don’t disregard problematic behavioral traits all for the sake of having someone to call your own. You should always be on the lookout for potential red flags to avoid extended periods of unhappiness with someone who isn’t worth your time or effort.
Below you’ll find 5 cautionary signs that you should be on the lookout for when searching for that special someone.
They’re Controlling and Possessive
A controlling guy or gal is one of the major red flags to be on the lookout for. Everything from trying to completely distance you from your friends and family, to not allowing you to speak to or befriend anyone they feel is a “threat” to your relationship, these are traits that should be a complete deal breaker for you. While it’s okay for your significant other to want alone time with you, it becomes a completely different situation when they actively begin trying to keep you away from others and prevent you from having a social life outside of your partnership.
That jealousy can manifest in various unhealthy ways and could result in a potentially harmful situation, whether it be physically or mentally.
They Constantly Play Games With You
While this mentality should be left in their younger years, there are people who have no real intention on being with you officially, and instead wish to play games and string you along for the hell of it. One example of this: those who who keep making and cancelling plans with you, or who always seems unavailable all the while giving you enough attention to keep you around for their own enjoyment. Of course, dealing with someone who exhibits this kind of behavior is extremely annoying, but there is something that’s even more irritating than that, and that is men and women who play games by going back and forth between what they’re looking for. One minute they’re looking to “build something” with you while buying you gifts and performing grand romantic gestures, then the next minute, they’re not sure and want to keep things casual…and then back to wanting something serious. Don’t entertain this kind of asinine behavior. This is merely another tactic to keep you close by and interested in them, while they have you around for when it’s merely convenient for them.
Instead of wrapping yourself up in this tiring cycle, invest time with someone who’s honest about what they want and doesn’t play adolescent games with your emotions.
They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries
Setting and respecting boundaries while dating or in a relationship is extremely important. This dictates what is and isn’t acceptable in your partnership, and sets the tone for how things are handled. Whether it be verbal, physical, or sexual boundaries composed, your partner should respect them. In saying that, it’s okay for them to inquire about about your boundaries, as this can help them fully understand why it’s a no-go and getting know how to go about handling specific scenarios with you. It’s not okay however, for them to completely ignore your boundaries solely for their own gain, or just to see what they can get away with.
This kind of behavior shows that your comfortability and mental wellness aren’t things that your significant other genuinely respects, and when there’s a lack of respect, you need to move on.
They’re Selfish in the Bedroom
Recently, the internet was set ablaze by men and women commenting on DJ Khaled’s stance on not performing oral sex on his wife, but how it was a must for him to receive oral sex. This is just one example of the mindset of some individuals and how their pleasure is the priority, while their partner’s pleasure isn’t of their concern. *Side note: If a man will eat everything in your fridge, freezer, and pantry, but not what’s in your panties – leave him. Period.
Sex is supposed to be fun, intimate, and mutually satisfying for both parties. Dating someone who’s only focused on their own pleasure and release will no doubt lead to sexual frustration and possibly even resentment throughout the relationship…unless you don’t mind getting off without reciprocation.
They Don’t Make Time For You
Like the old saying goes: “No matter how busy they are, people make time for who and what they want to make time for”. Having someone constantly tell you they “can’t” meet up and spend time with you, but can see and hangout with everyone else that they know is a clear sign that they may not value you as much as they may make you think. While some people do have insanely busy schedules, they can still make some time for you at some point if they really want to, even if it’s only an hour or so.
Having someone consistently tell you that they don’t have time to see you is not only annoying, but is a potential indicator that should you decide to ignore this, you’d be setting yourself up for a one sided situation. If they can’t set aside time for you now, what makes you think things will miraculously change?
All in all, there are plenty of red flags to keep an eye out for and while some are more critical than others, you never know how a “small” warning could save you a lot of time, stress, and potential heartache. Always go for those who are completely genuine in their pursuit of you and who truly value your physical and emotional well-being, and continue living life with your happiness at the forefront.