Being physically attractive is a must….at least that’s what we’re conditioned to think in society as we grow up, and this idea is even enforced in our adult lives. With countless images of “ideal” versions of physical perfection being projected to us daily through various forms of media, some of us tend to put looks at the top of our check list when dating. Naturally as humans, we are drawn to those we see as appealing, but the concept of physical attraction seems to be exemplified and sometimes skewed due to the pressures and sometimes unrealistic standards of human beauty that we mentally consume on a daily basis.
Thinking about all of this lead me to ask this question: Could you date someone that you’re not physically attracted to?
If I was to answer this question honestly, I’d have to say that it depends. While I do appreciate and prefer a guy that I’m immediately attracted to in terms of physicality, looks aren’t everything, and they tend to fade with age anyway. In saying that, there have been guys that I wasn’t necessarily attracted to or who I saw as “average” until I got to know them. It was then that I began to become more and more attracted to them because of their personality, but also began seeing them as more physically attractive as well.
Now, in order for some form of attraction to develop in my mind, there has to be something that’s actually attractive about the person in some capacity. Whether it be nice eyes or a great smile, there has to be something that I enjoy looking at. It may sound harsh, but to be honest, I wouldn’t date a guy who I saw as completely unattractive. He could be a really nice guy with a great personality, but if there’s absolutely nothing for me to be attracted to when I look at him, it just wouldn’t work.
Additionally, there has to be something that a man offers other than looks in order to completely gain my interest. Being an attractive guy with absolutely nothing else to offer is an immediate red flag, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone out with a guy that I initially found attractive, but after 10 minutes of conversation, I was completely turned off.
In addition to our own preferences, I think that the opinion of others can play a role in who we date when it comes to the physical aspect of things if we allow it to happen. In my own experiences when I was younger, there have been guys that I didn’t date or have an interest in getting to know simply because I was worried about how others would look at me, knowing that they may see him as “not good enough” for me in terms of appearance. Letting the opinions of others effect your dating life in this way isn’t good as you’ll end up trying to date someone that you think everyone else will like instead of focusing on what it is that you want in a significant other. I learned this lesson pretty quickly and now only worry about my own opinion of any guy that I’m dating or interested in dating.
All in all, everyone is seen as attractive to someone, and favorable physical attributes aren’t synonymous with decent personality traits. It’s always important to date someone who treats you with respect and who genuinely cares about you, but it’s also important that you’re happy with the person. If you’re not really sure if you’re attracted to someone, maybe take time to just get to know them as friends and see if there’s anything there. If not, then let them down easy and continue to date around until you feel like you’ve found someone who meets your standards in all aspects.
Could you date someone that you’re not physically attracted to? Sound of in the comments and let me know.